Words & Images by Cecile Davis
Editor's Note: We will be regularly following Cecile's journey as she becomes a first time mom to see what her experience is like after miscarriage. You'll find her posts on our blog once a month.
Only two weeks away from my due date and I’m so ready for this baby! Overall it's been an easy, joyful pregnancy and I’ll always be grateful for that, but these last couple of weeks have been tough. Time has slowed to a crawl, insomnia is brutal, and my tummy has gone beyond the adorable panda stage into full geriatric Santa mode.
Despite the fact that I have been overweight for most of my pregnancy, our baby is actually slightly under weight. This could be because something is wrong (like the placenta or umbilical cord malfunctioning) or she could just be little. Obviously, I’m hoping for the latter! I get to have a weekly sonogram in addition to my usual appointments to keep an eye on her and I must say it’s been nice to see her every week, again, it makes me excited to meet her in person and have her on the outside. This turn of events could seem scary to some, but like I’ve mentioned before, it's been my goal to keep fear as far away from this precious baby as possible. I feel her move every day and I trust my intuition would tell me if something was truly “wrong.” Oddly, if she remains underweight, the doctor will induce her between 39-40 weeks. The logic being, it's easier to diagnose a problem when she's on the outside rather than in the belly.
I have a fun and kind of crazy experience to share. Little baby has been head down for a while (which is awesome!) but we found out last week from the sonogram that she’s posterior (not so awesome!). I wasn’t super worried but did want to try something to get her to flip, starting with acupuncture. I get acupuncture semi-regularly and have always enjoyed it and had good results, so I walked my butt down to the apothecary for some needles and got something I didn’t expect. Not only did she needle my ears and toes but I participated in a gong bath (which is CRAZY and I highly recommend for the experience alone) and she burned an herb called Massa over my feet. The result? She flipped! What a feeling! She may be little, but holy smokes, when a baby does a 180 in your tum you feel it. So, for all those out there with posterior nuggets in their bellies, I highly recommend some Eastern medicine!
Even though she's in a launch position and her over all health is normal and good, because she's underweight I may have to deliver in the hospital. I’m trying to be cool and come to terms if that's the case, because of course I want what best for my baby, but it’s hard to let go of my ideal birth plan. I’m looking at this like my first lesson as a parent: you can't control everything. You can only do your best, adapt, and keep moving forward. I’ll know next week (week 39) whether or not we’ll be delivering at the birth center or inducing at the hospital, until then I’ll be here… stuck in the time vortex known as the last weeks of gestation.
Cecile is a photographer and filmmaker living on Maryland's rural Eastern Shore. She specializes in artistic and highly emotional wedding coverage. Her husband and two dogs are expecting the arrival of their first human baby any day now...